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| 08:02am 10/08/2003 |
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mood:  :'( music: Twiztid... White trash wit ta2s
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yeah, okay, so here's the dilio...
I REALLY like this guy...Ralph... and i wanted to see him today and i thought i was gunna be able to. Genie was supposed to pick me up and take me over to her house... and Ralph was supposed to be there. Well, since fuckin ricky didnt wanna go to her house... we ended up at the avenue.. which i wasnt supposed to go to cuz my mom didnt want me changing plans so much... so when i called her i got bitched out for absolutly no reason, cuz 10 minutes after we got there, genie wanted to go home... so now im stuck at home with my mom while i could be out... and im not even alowed to do anything cuz for some stupid reason my mom doesnt want me going out, cuz she never spends time with me. she works too much, its not my fault she works so God damn much... then as i stay home all day she wants me to be home when she gets home too.. no. im seriously pissed and i just wanna see Ralph. |
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| mini update |
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| 10:39am 19/07/2003 |
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mood:  blah music: radio
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so.... i dont have much to write... but im bored so i guess ill update.
**********
letsee... yeeeeeeeeesterday i didnt really do anything cept go to the mall... i saw some people i havent seen in like a month or two... Lindsay, Nathan, Joe, squirrel, Steve D., adam, yeah, so it was cool...
supposedly, mike morris is moving back today.... i havent heard from him in like a week and a half so i dont know whats going on with that... i hope he moves back soon though, i really miss him a lot...
btw... that dude i told you about, matt, is in jail... I DIDNT DO IT!!!
**heeheehee**
anyway, ill update some more later, after something good happens.:)
Much*Love
JenN*a*babii |
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| chiggin |
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| 10:50am 16/07/2003 |
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mood: burned music: ICP- hocus pocus
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bored bored bored...
yeah, this morning my neighbors decided "hey, lets wake everyone up in the friggin neighborhood at 7:oo and FINISH BUILDING OUR DECK!!" Gosh!! i hate them so0o0o much they smell like funky shoe cheese, and they yell at Chris everytime he goes through my other neighbors yard....eep!!
anyway, yeah ive spent most of the morning talking to amber and trying not to move my legs... i layed on my stomach for 3 hours on monday,in the sun, and im burnt!! it hurts to sit and walk and i cant lay down, which means i dont sleep that much anymore... im really really tired.... Today when rick and Genie call me, i think im gunna go over genie's for the day, or maybe we're gunna go to Towson, anything but White marsh... it sucks there now!! im tellin u i never thought i would get bored with the mall... but now since the arcade is super gay cuz u cant sit... theres nothing to do but walk around... and theres only so many times you can walk around that mall in one day...
dont ya love it when you start dating a guy that you dont even wanna date, but you get together with him because he likes you "so much"... but then a week later, your best guy friend tells you that he told him that he only wanted someone to fuck around with??
so fun.. anyway, yeah so that boy matt... some ppl might know him, (he worked at friendlys... eyebrow peirced, looks italian, but hes really Mexican)... anyway...he asked me out, but i didnt wanna go out with him cuz i wasnt ready to get into another relationship yet, but i did it anyway, and told him that i wanted to take things super slow... he was like "oh. ok whatever you wanna do, thats fine wtih me"
******BULLSHIT******
He made the retarded mistake of telling my friend Dave, that he was still with his ex, brittany, and that he 'loved her so much' and shit... then rick told me that matt only wanted me for fucking around and shit... so i found him last thursday, got up in his face and said::::
" you didnt give a fuck how much pain i was in from my last relationship... you didnt care that i was scared to be in a relationship again, you just wanted a fuck buddy, and you thought, hey, shes vonerable, ill take her mind and fuck with it... so you know what, FUCK YOU.
*And DAMN IT FELT GOOD TO FINALLY TELL SOMEONE OFF!!
anyway, yeah, i guess i better go... i gotta go get ready, ttyl
Much*Love
JenN*a*BabiI
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| ::sigh:: |
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| 03:12pm 08/07/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: My Immortal
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MMMMMMMMMMMHMMMMMMMMM
anyway, yeah so schools been out for awhile now... this summers been okay, i havent really been bored yet, and im in drivers ed now, so i can get my license in a few weeks. If you have to ask, yes ive been depressed the past week and a half and i will be for a long time. Only a few people know why, and im keeping it that way. life pretty much sucks right now, i dont show it, but i sometimes wish that i could just fall over and die. i hate living right now. i feel so lost and unhappy. and i dont have any control over it, because the only thing that makes me happy, is gone... but i guess ill have to manage.
im so tired of being here
these wounds wont seem to heal
this pain is just too real
theres just too much that time cannot erase...
yeah, so anyway.... i guess ill update later, cuz i really dont have anything to write about
Much*Love
JenN*a*babiI |
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| stuff.... |
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| 09:03am 22/06/2003 |
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mood: okay music: >Rainbows and stuff
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SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED
yeah, so im bored, cuz there isnt anything to do... hmm... well its what the fourth day of summer vacation and guess what... I HAVE NOTHING TO DO ALREADY!! i guess i better go get a job... cuz i need the cha ching and something to do....
well, letsee, today at like 2, im gunna go to my friend Kara's graduation party... i hope it doesnt rain and stuff, cuz its supposed to be a pool party... errr something? anywho, i havent gone to the mall this weekend cept for like 2 hours saturday to get karas stuff and my bathingsuit.ok, well i got sum stuff to do before i go out, so ill update later:)
MuCh*LoVe
JenN*a*babiI |
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| 12:35pm 18/06/2003 |
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mood: bored music: ICP- IF
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last day of exams today
really nothing to do now... bored out of my mind and stuff
be back later.... update tomorrow,
yay for no school!!!
happy bekah?
JenN*a*BabiI* |
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| hmm?! |
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| 03:17pm 11/06/2003 |
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mood:  hot music: let's go all the way
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ok yeah, so i know i havent updated in awhile... not that long but still awhile. Just been kinda busy, with all the end of the year stuff in school and whatever. So0o0oo0o0o, letsee.. what else? hmm oh! ok, her we go... Friday night i went to the mizall and there were like 175 juggalos there that night, a lot from eastpoint i guess...its a wonder there wasnt any fights or anything. yeah, so last week i had like a mental break down and was depressed for the longest time before that. its just with all the shit between my mom and my "dad", the stress of passing my finals, not having a job, guy troubles, and just life in general... its getting better though.. thanks Bekah and Steve, you really helped. so... yeah, my mom is deciding to be a major BOTCH and only letting me go to the mall till like 5:30 on fridays IF i even go, and only till like 5 saturdays cuz i got in a whole buncha trouble and whatnot...DAMNIT! ok, so i gotta go call bekah and Shtuff, so ill see ya laters
much love
JenNAbabii |
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| yeah |
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| 05:23pm 02/06/2003 |
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mood:  sleepy music: rockos modern life noise
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hey, yeah, so ive had a pretty bad couple of weeks, thats why i havent been writing... i had a 'nervous breakdown' friday, which kinda exausted me.
i had a good weekend though... chilled around the mall and Genie, spent time with Bekah, and Genie, Walt, Star and the arcade crew... not much left of school... only 12 days, but its gunna be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG 12 days... i only have 2 weeks of courses left, then four days of exams. and they split the exams up over the four days so we couldnt leave early, or come in late. one exam in the morning, one exam in the after noon, with the two classes you have exams in the next day, in the middle of the morning and afternoon exams. yeah, well i gotta go *Study* for a little bit, so ill write later....
btw... me and chris broke up. |
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| ok so yesterday |
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| 10:40am 02/06/2003 |
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mood:  mischievous music: can't touch this- MC hammer... SHUTUP!!! hehe boredom sucks
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ok so yesterday i went to Mike M.'s house affa school and chilled there till his dad came home. i observed Mike W.'s " nice lines" then we went to the mall and met up with Chris, Star, Jeanie, Walt, and a few other people. then when we met Andrew up at the food court, he told me that the WHOLE time me and Justin were going out, he was smoking weed... which Justin told me EVERYDAY that he didnt smoke weed anymore. so theres another lie... so i was sick of it... so i went downstairs to the arcade and got up in his face, and told him that he was an asshole and that i hated him for lying to me. so i asked him " since you have Lindsay in your life now... you dont need me... right?" and he just nodded his head. so i slapped him across the face. Let me tell you, i felt SO MUCH BETTER after that happened, cuza all the shit that he's lied to me about. so i told him me and him were fucking over, that i never wanted to talk to him again and that he was not to call me or message me ever the fuck again. so fuck Justin, i thank him for all he's done for me, but i would trade in all that shit for the truth. he looked me right into my eyes and lied to me, i guess thats what i get for trusting people though.
*HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICH!!*
talk to everybodys later!
much love
JenNababii |
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| other shit |
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| 06:52am 31/05/2003 |
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yeah, so some other things he's said that were flat out lies--
"i didnt wanna punch Chris"- Jeanie Star and WAlt, yeah he told them he did...
"I dont like lindsay" which turned into "ive liked lindsay since i met her"
This shit doesnt bother me, if he would told me straight up it woulda been fine... but he lies like madd fuck... so im done believing him... |
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| eep |
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| 05:41pm 12/05/2003 |
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mood:  chipper music: 21 Questions...remixx
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hehehehe
yeah, so it's been a long time since i wrote in here!! so let's update.
ooook me and Chris are still together!:) yayers... schools goin ok, i just need to keep working on social studies and science, cuz i have E's in them. i can get my license soon, but i wont be getting it unless i start with my stupid drivers ed shtuff... yeah. so i got a lotta projects to finish and homework to do, so ill be back laters
Much love.
JenNababii |
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| for everyone whos in my business. |
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| 06:23am 01/05/2003 |
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ya know, i know that wasnt justin. but check it out... justin was the one who told lindsay he wanted to "talk to her" after me and him broke up. hes the one who messed up. and i did what i need to be happy... and your not him or me... so you dont know what happened. he lies... he told me taht jen, jme, and bekah were mad at me cuz i "broke up with him for Chris." Jme and Jen dont even know who chris is. he can't tell the truth, and thats a big part of why im not with him. i dont know why im even explaing this to anyone, its not anyones business but mine and his.. |
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| eesh |
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| 07:13pm 28/04/2003 |
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mood: depressed music: destinys child. - what the crap am i doing listening to this
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ok heres the deal.
FOR THE PAST LIKE 6 MONTHS, I THOUGHT I WAS HOT SHIT CUZ A LOT OF GUYS LIKED ME. THEN YESTERDAY IT FINALLY ALL CAUGHT UP TO ME. IM NOT GUNNA GO INTO DETAILS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, BUT ME AND BEKAH GOT INTO A FIGHT ABOUT HOW "FLIRTY" I AM WITH GUYS. and i relized after bruising the bone in my hand by hitting the steel gate, that i do flirt with people... whether or not i know it. so heres the deal. im not doing it anymore. im picking one guy to stay with, and if that doesnt work out, then ill deal with it then, but i cant keep breaking hearts and friendships.
i am picking chris as my guy to 'talk to' right now...
so please guys... just make my life easier and slap me when i begin to flirt with other people.. or atleast tell me when im doing it cuz i sometimes dont even relize.
i love you bekah! your one of the only people i can always trust to be there for me no matter what...
btw... bruised bones in my hand.. sling for like 528357 years.. not fun. NEVER HIT STEEL GATES. |
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| 08:50am 27/04/2003 |
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mood:  confused music: 'Not a day goes by'
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me and Justin decided to "take a break" last night. and all night i was regretting it until bunny told me that he told her that he 'didnt care what happened between me and him' then i was sad cuz i thought i ment something to him. So, people have decided that they're gunna ride me about breaking up with him... but you know, your not me or him so you dont need to worry about why we broke upand if this doesnt apply to you im sorry... but everyone whos telling me what i did wasnt right, and that i shouldnt have done it... IM WELL FUCKING AWARE of that and i dont need more people telling me that. Anyway... i had a few people over last night for my birthday. Andrea, Lindsay, Noelle, Bunny and Bekah. we ate like madd crazy, and didnt go to bed till almost 4... got up at 7... the rest of them are sleeping but i gotta get some stuff done... ill write more later |
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| Yeah...so.......yeah |
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| 08:41pm 22/04/2003 |
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mood:  calm music: watching a movie- hocus pocus.. hehe
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ok, so Letsee the last time i wrote waaaaaasssssssss..... uh... yeah i cant remember, but i think like Thursday... yeah anwyay.. Friday night there was a fight between some people, NO JUGGALOS and the JUGGALOS got blamed for it. For the rest of the night, people wearing ICP gear couldnt come into the arcade with it on. Then, Saturday morning, TRACIE relized it was descrimination and that he couldnt do it. Then, Saturday went by pretty smooth, a fight with Justin... no big surprise... we fight over the stupidest shit... well atleast i thought it was stupid until Monday.My Ex SCOTT came to the arcade, and ME,SCOTT,ANDI,JUSTIN,AND NOELLE all chilled around together... no biggie... i hadn't seen SCOTT in awhile, so i walked around with him... just me and him. And seeing how JUSTIN gets jealous easy, i was of course *flirting* with him. which i honestly dont think i was. Now, i know people think i flirt a lot... which i do admit i flirt. but my flirting isnt a big deal... i mean, im not cheating on JUSTIN, and im not having SEX with everyguy i flirt with. Even RYAN said im just FRIENDLY. i understand why people get aggrevated with it though. Ive never had this much attention from guys before and im so confused about what to do with it. up until last year, no guy would ever give me a second look... but now its like.... i cant get away from it sometimes. i know its gunna get me into trouble one day. i dont think im all that pretty, {bad childhood memories coming back... ehhhh} so when guys tell me i am, i guess i think i need to act on their thoughts. if that makes any sense. anyway, anyones imput would help me figure out what to do... so post it ok? thanks... please!! help me with Justin, and guy problems and everything else
Much Love
*JenNababii* |
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| 01:40pm 17/04/2003 |
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mood: bored music: vanilla ice....yes im that bored.
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SO FRIGGIN BORED!! OMG I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!! IM NOT USED TO BEING HOME WHEN IM OFF SCHOOL! eeeeeeeeeeppp.... yeah, anyway i went out almost everyday this week... got a lot done, Ryan's birthday present is finished...woop... i get to see someone this weekend that i miss so fucking much....me and justin almost broke up a thousand times this week... surprise surprise... yeah i gotta go
ttyl
......**Jennababii**........ |
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| WERD! |
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| 07:02pm 08/04/2003 |
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mood: sore music: Sean Paul- Shake that thang
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Lol, yeah so sorry... i said i would write saturday morning, but i kinda didnt even have time to breath this weekend... so letsee, Saturday was MIKE M.'s last day at white marsh cuz hes movin to P.A.. ill miss him a lot... There was almost a fight between the JUGGALOS and my ex CHUCK too... but good thing there wasnt! cuz i mean... now honestly who would win?. Sunday me and justin chilled at the arcade all day together... i really needed just me and him time. Noel and Bunny and me and justin and mike and mikes little brother chris and stevo all stayed after with bunny and played a few DDR games, and left and went to the avenue. where NOEL and CHRIS proceeded to molest the statues. after we walked down the avenue, we decided to walk to IKEA and go through there... yeah that was a lot of fun.hehe... i like the water floaty bed thingies.. hehe. anyway, yeah, me bunny and noel are gunna move in together and buy all our furniture at IKEA!! hehehe. so yeah, that should be interesting. ok, well imma bounce up outta here... ill write more when i can... maybe tommorrow... maybe at the end of the week.
.......**Jennababii**........
AAAAAAAH! BTW... MY DAD BOUGHT ME A NEW CAR SATURDAY NIGHT... MAZDA 626... NICE! Im IN LOVE WITH IT!
::cough:: sorry. |
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| i get to see justin in less than 24 hours!! eeeeeek |
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| 04:04pm 03/04/2003 |
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mood:  anxious music: Shake it shorty
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yeah, so i cant wait until tommorrow... but i gotta get my mom to pick me up from school tommorrow and take me right to the mall so i can be there when JUSTIN gets there. So, yeah today went pretty good... i went to school then my mom picked me up at 9 and i went to the dentist:( but the guy was a total jerk and talked to me and my mom with attitude and i was about to get up and pop him.damn i hate it when people talk shit to my mom. hes so lucky he shut up when he did or else he woulda been pullin that damn xray outta his ass. eesh
anyway, when i got back to school, it was hot as hell. and of course mike was being a dick to me, but u know what i dont give a fuck anymore... when he appologizes to me and relizes how much he hurt me, then ill care about him. anyway, yeah i got home and changed into shorts and a tank cuz i was so friggin hot after being in school all day. i cant wait until tommorrow, its been a pretty short week but i miss JUSTIN, RICH,MIKE,JME,JEN, and all them... i cant wait till tommorrow night! and i think JUSTIN has off all day on Saturday. ok, well im gunna go play some DDR, ill either write more tommorrow night when i get home or saturday morning before i go see Justin.
im out.
.........**Jennababii**.......... |
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| ::sigh:: one day between now and justin |
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| 02:42pm 02/04/2003 |
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mood:  annoyed music: ICP- Please dont hate me
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yeah. so today went pretty good until after lunch when i was sitting in the hallway, and mike was being really mean to me and i got upset... but i let it slide. But on the way from the cafeteria to Geometry... i was walking with AMBER, AMANDA, and JOYCE... and Gonzo(principal) pulled me into the middle of the hallway and told me to pull my shirt down cuz like an inch of my stomach was showing, and i told him it didnt go down anymore, and he just gave me a look and told me to go to class... and that pissed me off. cuz if no one else says anything about my stomach showing, why should he?! Then, I was walking with SARA, and she informed me that MIKE called me a slut last ngiht. For some stupid reason, i believed him when he said he would never hurt me, and that really hurt. Normally it wouldnt have bothered me, but for some reason, this did. So i cried for like half an hour, than relized it wasnt worth it.so i gave him a note, explaining how hurt i was and what i thought of him, and im waiting for his response. But i really dont care about what he thinks. im tired of caring what other people think. So, mike if u read this... i hope i made you feel as bad as u made me feel. Anyway, yeah i gotta go Driving soon, then i gotta go to get my ring stuff and stuff, so...i guess ill write more tommorrow |
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| ::sigh:: 2 days between now and justin |
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| 04:27pm 01/04/2003 |
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mood: awake music: Icp- Faygo song
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Yeah... madd bored right now. i miss JUSTIN like crazy. Hes all i can think about. its his birthday today and i can't even be with him. ::sigh:: ive been thinking, hes gunna be 18. Now, ive dated older guys... but ive never really cared about them. But Justin is a totally different story. hes so sweet, and i think i love him <:3 )~~~ thats kinda hard to say, because of all the shit that ive been through, but i get those butterflies that you get when you love someone.. only my butterflies are like friggin Airplanes in my stomach. I know i can always count on him... hes all i can really count on or trust. I'm starting to really find out who my true friends are too. i mean, all my friends at lunch put me down and shit... like today, my friends Amanda, Amber and Mike were making fun of me playing DDR. like any of them could get there asses on the damn game and play as half as good as i do. I kept my cool though, not worth getting upset over. Ok, well i better get goin, i just wanted to write and update you on whats going on... comment if u read this please, just so i know if anyone is reading this.
mJl
........**Jennababii**............ |
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